So the reason for my post last night has really been bothering me. It’s a LONG story that is really to much to try and explain on here. It’s just hard to think about. It totally boggles my mind how people can be SO irrational. My Aunt completely played the victim card, which she does well, A LOT. My pastor and I have done a lot of talking about the dysfunction triangle. The Victim, perpetrator and rescuer. My mom was always either the victim or perpetrator. I am the victim or rescuer. And I believe my dad was rescuer. Now I’m living with my aunt and uncle and they are on this Trauma Triangle. My pastor and I had talked about the fact that I have gotten off the triangle. I was reading a site just now though, and I think I still play those parts a lot. Not as much as I used to, probably, but it still happens. Especially since I moved here. Ironically My aunt plays the same roles as my mom, my uncle plays the same roles as my dad, and then there’s me. So now I need to talk to my Pastor some more about this and work on these issues more. I hate feeling angry all the time, and at this point, I’m really not sure how to not feel that way. After last night, its VERY apparent that I need to move. I’m not sure how to fix these dynamics of the Triangle. I do know I can only fix those things in myself. I can also not reward those who play the roles with me. I can walk away instead of reacting to them. I’m not sure exactly how to do that, which tells me I am still way on that triangle. Wow! This post went in the total opposite direction, than I was first intending it too. Here is the link I was reading tonight. I need to do a lot more thinking, researching and most importantly praying on this subject.
http://www.angriesout.com/grown20.htm
Now it’s off to bed with a time to sleep meditation. I don’t work so early tomorrow, so I should get some really good sleep tonight.
Love & Peace
Devin
Life Matters 