I had a great idea for a post yesterday, but had worked the night before, so didn’t have the energy to try and figure it out. I didn’t really have a post figured out for H yet. Anyway, that is OK. I’m throwing that to the wind today.
I just talked to my mom on the phone, and found out that my 16 yr-old brother J, has Juvenile Arthritis. He was having really bad joint pain, and his doctor couldn’t figure out what was going on. J went to a Rheumatologist yesterday. He has to go the children’s hospital once a month, to check up on his meds. My mom said he also has to learn to give himself a shot, so he can give himself the shot he needs. I’m not sure if there is also oral medications, or not. So now I am going to go and do research on this topic, so I can know as much as I can about it. That’s what I do. I did it with my diagnoses of mental health issues. It’s like I have to know all these things. It really sucks though because I am in Oregon, and he is in Wisconsin. I don’t have the money to go see him. I mean it’s not like he is dying or anything, but I wish I could be there to support him.
The thing about this that REALLY frustrates me, is that I have been yearning to go to WI and visit, for a couple of months now. I was thinking it would be cool to go in October, for my birthday. I am not working, even part time right now, so it’s not in the budget. I brought it up to my mom, that I thought it would be cool to come visit for my birthday, and she reminded me that next May, J will be graduating from high school. I obviously want to be there for his graduation, so need to wait on the trip there. It’s frustrating though, because it is still in my heart to go in October. I don’t know why, but it is, and strong. There is nothing I can do about it. My fear is that I won’t have the money in May and I really don’t want to have to have my parents pay for my ticket, now that they will be having to deal with the medication and appointments for J. I just want a job that doesn’t stress me out, that gives me good hours, so that I can afford to pay for my own things. The other option is finding a sugar momma or daddy by then, but then I wouldn’t be in it for the love and that’s what I would want it to be about. If there is even such a thing as LOVE.
In other news, I went to my doctor today because I am still coughing. Even though I’ve already quit smoking, she prescribed me nicotene patches to help with the cravings. The pharmacy was out today though, so I will get them tomorrow. She also gave me a flier for Quit For Life Program, Free & Clear. She said that Oregon Health Plans wants people who are quitting to sign up for that, which is actually good because they have some good resources and coaches, etc. So it might help. I’ve been craving a smoke for awhile now. Anyway, the craving was so strong that I wanted to go up the road and buy a pack. Instead I called them. I got signed up there and just have to wait for my things in the mail. They are sending me patches too. My craving was kind of going away and then I talked to my mom and the craving is full force again. The gum isn’t helping.
While I’m talking about not smoking, I should be honest and tell you that I had one Sunday, Monday and bummed one from a coworker when I worked the night shift Tuesday night. I didn’t have any yesterday or today.
That is all!