This Was Supposed To Be Different

I was just told by my housemate that she was manic when she asked me live here. She is not making me move (YET) but definitely regrets it. I don’t hold it against her because i understand she was in a different state of mind. It does however hurt pretty bad. My aunt was constantly making comments that led me to believe she regretted having me move in too. She didn’t come right out and say it though. I just feel like I’m never going to be in a place where things are good. That things are always going to be a fuck-up for me. I’m tired of trying to make things better, it never works.



Early Wake-Up

I was up at 330 this morning. Now it’s 530. I got a bunch of my (old school) pictures sorted through, and in the album. Through away a lot of doubles. Got other doubles organized to be sent to people, who might be interested. I have once more set that needs to go in the album. I still have a couple rolls of film that need developing. They are pretty old so probably won’t come out the best, but at least then I’ll know what’s on them. Then they can be entered into the album. After working on photos, I had a bowl of cereal and now it’s time to go back to bed for at least 4 hours.



Today, I was nonfunctional. I woke up in a funk, and was in a funk most of the day. I talked to my friend and Pastor S this evening. That helped me to see things a little differently, though I’m still funky. S said that I need to figure out what my needs are so that I can figure out how to fulfill those needs. So now I’m thinking about that, and am hoping to come up with some ideas. Maybe I’ll post them when I do.

Now it’s time to watch a show and then head to bed.

Night all!

Cutting Back…

I’m trying very hard to cut back on my cigarettes. Last week I was doing better and only having half a cigarette at a time. I was smoking every couple hours, and then Saturday and Sunday I was very stressed, and now this week has been harder. So today I am trying to have one every 3 hours instead of 2. I have 23 minutes to go, so thought I would post about it. I’ve been watching Lost on Netflix, to help me get through the hours. Today is my relax day so am doing whatever it takes to make it through the hours, and keep my mind off it. It’s a struggle and something I am continuously asking God for help with. Only His strength can help me now. I can’t do this alone.

A couple of songs that help me get through my hard times.

Love & Peace

Get Real

Media and society needs to change the way they are portraying models. It gives a false sense to people, of what we should be. I hope more actors/actresses jump on the Jamie Lee Curtis train. This is amazing!

Shirley's Heaven

“I’m trying really hard to take the veil off the fraud,

to be real, to start with me.”

Jamie Lee Curtis

Here is an example of Jamie’s pictrue* next to another picture of her that was touched up.

 *Pictrue– A word I invented to describe a picture that hasn’t been airbrushed, photoshopped, or altered to create the illusion of perfection.

1combo2Thank you Jamie Lee Curtis for being brave enough to show your real self on the cover of More magazine in 2002. It seems like we should have learned something from all this by now, but instead people are using the many digital tools available to perpetuate even more myths of perfection.

Here is a short video clip I found on Youtube that shows what four women thought of pictures of themselves after they were touched up to look like models.

View original post

Why I’m giving up the razor

So Bad Ass

I have an almost 12 year old daughter, she is reaching the age where the usual puberty changes are happening, there are boobs and hormonal mood swings and there is the hair… Sprouting from armpits, legs and you know, everywhere.

And so it got me thinking about the relationship between young women and their body hair.  It is such an odd thing when you think that though teens are desperate to grow into adults, they also want to remove the body hair that shows their maturity.

We live in a society where the norm is to remove every inch of hair from our legs, armpits and fannies and though I have no issue with women who choose to do this, it concerns me that the vast majority of images we see are of hairless women.

I watched The Devil Inside recently, a movie about demonic possession, there is a scene…

View original post 941 more words

Why I don’t want my daughter to pledge her virginity

So Bad Ass

Over in America there are these frankly bizarre things called Purity Balls, no, it’s not a cleanser for testicles but an event in which young girls pledge to their fathers that they won’t have sex before marriage.  Within the conservative christian movement, these purity balls are spreading and now happen in 48 states across the USA with daughters committing to “live pure lives before God” to their fathers.

The images of these balls show young girls dressed in white, like mini brides, standing by their fathers, wearing suits akin to a groom.  The ceremonies have a similar structure to a traditional wedding with vows, dinners and speeches with the average age of the girls being 12 – 13, the kind of age where puberty is becoming more apparent.

The Christian Centre, which holds purity balls in Illinois states on their website; “We hope you will join us as we encourage…

View original post 1,007 more words

Follow Me On Life's Journey