I just wanted everyone to know that I am still alive. I have been in a place I haven’t been in a long time. Very depressed and with no interests whatsoever. At least before I was hospitalized, I was still interested in posting and stuff, but even that has gone away. I will try to post every so often until I get out of this slump.
Thanks for sticking with me.
I just called my Dad for Father’s Day. We had a nice talk. He told me though, that my brother and his girlfriend just bought a house. He also told me that my brother is trying to start his own Roofing business. My brother is 4 1/2 years younger then me. I am 31 and barely surviving. I woke up depressed this morning because of some triggering dreams. The transitional housing fell through, for now. I might be able to do it in the future but for now, it’s not an option. This has created more tension here, as my roommates really want me out. Almost every time I go upstairs she asks me if I’ve been looking or found anything out yet. I’m just really depressed and need to talk to someone but don’t know who to talk too. Lately I just haven’t had the energy to blog. I would say my mood is about a 2 this morning.
Well my mood is about a 4 today. I think I might be slowly climbing out of the slump. Still praying and hoping.
Things are starting to come together. I go in tomorrow morning to sign New Hire paperwork at the new job. My new counselor J is awesome! I went to my new recovery group last night and I think it’s going to be a good fit. I am going to Bible Study tomorrow evening at the same place. All of these things are good, but I’m still in the dumps. Why? I don’t know. Once I get my new medication provider, I am going to talk to them about my meds. Just been slumping it lately.
I would say my mood is about a 4 or 5 right now. I decided I needed to keep my promise and write a post tonight.
So last night my mood was a 1. I was not in a good place. A friend R that was in my program texted me to see how I was doing. When I told her my mood was a 1, she invited me over. I got to her place at 9 pm last night, and was there until about 10ish. It was really good to have her encouragement and support. And her dogs and cat loved me, which she said the cat and bigger dog, doesn’t usually like strangers. Most animals are like that with me though. The smaller dog was funny because she kept coming up by my shoulder. She would put her paw on my shoulder and stare at me. It was like she knew I wasn’t in a good place and was trying to comfort me. So that is how my mood went up to a 2 1/2.
Then this morning I woke up depressed. I was not in a good place this morning. I texted my pastor as a way to reach out, and we talked via text briefly this morning. Then I went back to bed. I had to force myself to stay up the rest of the day. Then since I had slept late, I just ate a bowl of cereal when I got up. I however, forgot to take my meds until an hour or more later. Since I didn’t have a hearty breakfast, and it was MUCH later, the meds gave me an upset stomach. I got sick and then felt REALLY tired, so then did lay back down to try and rest. Once I got up and took a warm bath, I felt a little better. My mood was starting to pick up, as I was really looking forward to church tonight. My mood improved between 3 and 4 pm. Church is at 5 pm. After church I stayed after and visited with G, who held church at her house tonight. My church is a house church, so we meet in members homes. I stayed and visited for about two hours. We had a good time and at the end, both G and her husband R said to come back more. So I may take them up on that.
I just arrived home, so now it is time to head to bed. I’ve got a busy day ahead of me.
My mood went from a 1 to a 3 this evening. Will post more tomorrow. I’m to tired right now.
I am bored with Netflix but too depressed to do anything else.