Category Archives: Blessings

Ricky Raccoon

So at 11 pm, I went out for the last smoke of the night. As I started to walk to the picnic table, where I usually sit, in the backyard, a raccoon ran up the fence. He was probably about 15 ft from me or so. Instead of running away, he just sat at the top of the fence. He watched me and I watched him. Usually, I would go and stand closer to the house, but I wasn’t afraid this time. I talked to Ricky while I smoked, and then I said good-night, and went back inside. It was cool to be so close to a raccoon and have him just sit there and watch me. He was pretty cute too! A blessing from God!

Night All!



So I still don’t have a post in me, so am making a decision to post anyway. I have decided to make a gratitude post. This is going to be a list post, which just feels easier at this time. So here goes…

1) My new place to live. A much more positive atmosphere. A room that I can make my sanctuary, that actually feels like MY room.
2) My housemate’s pets. Especially Roma, their dog. This morning when I came upstairs, I said good morning. As soon as I spoke, Roma got up and came to say hi, squeaking with excitement. It made me feel REALLY good!
3) I have some very supportive family, especially my Aunt K. I always appreciate our talks, and look forward to them. I always enjoy our time together too.
4) My very supportive church. Everyone is so uplifting and encouraging. They are there for me and have my best interests at heart.
5) All the friends I met in therapy. It was so good to be around people who understood what I was going through. Their support and encouragement was amazing, and helped me a lot!
6) My friend D, who is very special to me. He also makes me feel special. Whether we just stay friends or move into something more at some point, I really hope that it can be a life long relationship.
7) That my housemates love to cook (so I don’t have too), and know how to make REALLY good vegan food. It’s so good, I don’t even miss bacon as much as I did at my aunt and uncles.
8) My orchids, bamboo and spider plants are still alive.
9) I am creative. This is something I enjoy and it helps to de-stress me.
10)I’ve been sleeping well the last few nights.

Whew, I didn’t know if I could make it to 10, but I did. These are things I need to remember today so that I can get out of this darkness.

Love & Peace

Feeling Better…

Today started out as my mood being a two. By lunch it was up to a four. Having the group to support me, helped a lot. Then at lunch, I talked to D, who has contacted me again. He’s fine, was just taking care of a lot of his own stuff. So by the end of our phone call, my mood was up to a 7. After therapy, I met with my Pastor/Friend, S, for Coffee. I also had an interview for food stamps, since I’m not working at this time. AND I also have an appointment for a new counselor, closer to where I’m now, living. Now I would say my mood is probably a 5 or 6. I’m not way down, and not way excited. I’m just in a good space.


BIG Load Off My Shoulders!!!

Wow! Where do I start? I get to move!!! Last night I signed a contract for a new place to live. C is in my group program. We hit it off really well. Yesterday we were talking and it just came together. I told her to ask her husband G first, and he was fine with it. I will be trading cleaning and such for rent, like I am here. We will be going by job not hours. I think that might be better. They are also pretty flexible about things, so I think it will be a good fit. Even though I’m a little nervous because it’s always nerve-racking living with people, I am only a little nervous. As I was driving home last night, I felt so much lighter. I felt relieved and like there was a huge burden off my shoulders. I am so thankful that God has led me to C and G. I am hoping we can be a good fit for each other and accent each other in positive ways. This, at this point, is a temporary thing, but I think it will give me the boost I need to start looking at things differently. Now I just have to start searching for a new job up in that area.

Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I make more transitions in my life.


A Positive Day…

Last night I went to my friend N’s house to spend the night. Today was a Pray and Play church program in Portland. I spent the night at N’s so that I would already be closer and could ride with her. The big bonus to this was spending some extra one-on-one time with her, which I always enjoy. The Pray and Play was a big blessing. We had some small group activities. The pastor leading, C, always tries to get us to get into groups with people we don’t know a lot about. I ended up in a group of just me and one other person, K. I was thankful for only the two of us being in a group, and it seemed like she did too. K is a very special person and we seemed to connect well. When we first got into a group, we were sitting in front of a few women who thought they needed to talk, while C talked up front. As soon as we got a chance, K turned to me and said, “we need to move.” I was like, “Yeah, we do!” So we relocated. I then told her I wished I could say something to the women behind us, but didn’t have the guts. So we did our group activities, which focused on prayer and three women from the Bible, who saw Christ. Anna who saw HIm as an infant, The Bent Over Woman who needed healing, and the women who went to the tomb after Jesus had been risen. We then had to tie these women into our lives and talked about how we can see Christ in even small things, if we are looking. After we came back together, we again ended up sitting in front of the women who thought they needed to talk. I thought it was funny because K and I both turned at the same time and said, “Shh..” The women were quiet after that. One thing I really appreciated about K was that she had healing hands. I am the type of person that if I know you, I will put my hand on your shoulder when I talk or touch your arm. I do this a lot where I work. One resident told me I had healing hands, by doing this. It felt nice to be on the receiving side of this. It was also nice that K felt comfortable doing this, when she didn’t know me well. I will say that not everyone who does this, I feel comfortable with; but in this case, it made me feel good.

So after Pray and Play, I rode home with N, and then got my stuff and headed back to my home. When I got home, I took a nap. Then I decided I REALLY needed to stop procrastinating and mow the lawn. When I was out doing yard work the other day, I had done some pruning on the rose bushes out back, but hadn’t picked up the branches. So I needed to do that before mowing. I went over to start picking up the yard. I bent over and all of a sudden heard this, what I thought, was loud buzzing. It was really loud and I thought it was a big bug. I kind of jumped and looked to see what it was. There was a hummingbird drinking from the blueberry bush flowers. I wished I had my camera and then decided to just enjoy it while it was there, instead of stressing about having my camera. I watched it for a couple of minutes before it flew off. I got a big warm feeling in my chest as I watched it. I felt thankful that God had blessed me so much today.

Then about half an hour ago, I decided to go get the mail, as I hadn’t gotten it since Thursday. In the mail was a letter from the little boy I sponsor in Columbia. It put another big smile in my heart.

God blesses me everyday, but today I was watching and saw so many blessings. I am so thankful tonight!

Now it’s time to go take a relaxing bath and head to bed.



So a couple of weeks ago my aunt and uncle wanted to have a meeting about some ‘issues’ my aunt was having. One of those was having my food moved up to my room. Anyway at that meeting it was decided that we would have a monthly meeting on the 4th Saturday of each month. So we had our meeting today. We always start out with prayer. So today while my uncle prayed, I silently prayed that God would let me be at peace with whatever they chose to talk about. I was amazed at the outcome. There were a couple of times where I could have let the stress, anxiety and anger take over; I felt it start in my chest. Instead I was able to let go of the breath, which released the emotions and kept me at peace.

One really good thing that came out of it was that I can save some extra money. They told me that they would prefer me to eat their food, the staples. They were concerned that if I was having to buy food, I wouldn’t be able to save as much money. The reason I was buying my own food was so no one felt like I was taking advantage or eating them out of house and home. I explained that and my aunt said that it wasn’t an issue. The other reason I bought my own food was because if I felt like spending money, I could OK spending it on food in my head. I mean, ya gotta eat, right? I think I will still keep 50 out, at least to start, for snacks and stuff. And then I can go down from there maybe. I have a really hard time not spending money sometimes, so this is something i am really trying to work on.

Well I’ve gotta be up early in the morning, so it’s time to head to bed.

Night All!

Bath Blessings!

I LOVE hot baths! They are very calming to me. One place where I can totally relax and be in the moment. Today after doing some yard work, I decided a hot bubble bath sounded nice. As I was sitting in the tub, I was thinking about baths and how much I enjoy them. Then I thought of my friend, M who hates the thought of baths. She thinks about the fact that when sitting in a bath, you are sitting in dirty water. As I was contemplating her few of things, I started to think about how it was before regular plumbing. A lot of times the families would share the bath water. There was also usually only one bath a week. So think how dirty these people must have been, especially those working in the fields. And then to have to share the water. From what I understand from some books I’ve read, the father was usually last to bathe, but still. And then I started thinking about how this could still be happening in some countries or cultures where there isn’t plumbing or sufficient water for everyone. Then there are some people who have water, but it is unclean.

I started feeling very thankful that if I wanted too, I could take a bath every day. Usually I take showers if I’m in a hurry, like before work. Not only do I have running water, but I also have clean water. Then on top of that, I have the ability to buy bubbles and Epsom salts to put in my bath. I have the time to just sit, relax and think.

I am very thankful for my MANY bath blessings!

Love & Peace