This Was Supposed To Be Different

I was just told by my housemate that she was manic when she asked me live here. She is not making me move (YET) but definitely regrets it. I don’t hold it against her because i understand she was in a different state of mind. It does however hurt pretty bad. My aunt was constantly making comments that led me to believe she regretted having me move in too. She didn’t come right outΒ and say it though. I just feel like I’m never going to be in a place where things are good. That things are always going to be a fuck-up for me. I’m tired of trying to make things better, it never works.



16 thoughts on “This Was Supposed To Be Different”

      1. I know, right?!?!! It’s way easier said than done. It’s like how much can one person take. The answer is a lot more than they (YOU) think.

  1. Uhm why is her inability to be accountable for her own decisions your problem? That does not give her the right to walk all over you… Glad to hear you have positive things to look forward to! πŸ™‚

      1. I am a bit confused, since in your post it seems as if you accept responsibility for her bad feelings. Could have misinterpreted tho. I’m good at that πŸ˜›

      2. I think on some level, I do accept responsibility. I know I shouldn’t but I tend to take on other’s responsibility and am not sure how not to do that. One reason I responded the way I did, is because I get frustrated when she passes her pet peeves onto me, as that I am responsible for them. I have questioned to others, “why should I be responsible for her pet peeves?” Questioning that and actually following through with it are two different things. I’m not sure how to act, or not act, on them.

      3. I’m not sure either, but maybe something along the lines of if she does not like the outcome of her decisions maybe she should move out. In your post your blame yourself and accept that there is something wrong with you for her regretting to have you move in instead of something wrong with her for making such decisions when she should know she can’t trust herself like that. Now she blames it all on you without being accountable or self reflecting. You don’t hold her accountable either but instead solely focus on your own shortcomings. (I can obviously only review what you posted here.)

        Hope this is some food for thought. πŸ™‚

      4. Yes, I agree. I guess I’m so used to taking on everyone else’s problems, that I just automatically do it. I guess I also felt like I trusted her too fast, which I do a lot of. Then it bites me in the butt later. I will say that had I not moved in with her, I would not be where I was, to accept this job or to move into transitional housing (which will be soon). So looking at the positive, these things wouldn’t have happened so soon, had I not moved here. So I’m trying to look at the positive outcomes.

      5. Good for you to look at that. Ultimately, the things she regrets are her problems, and she needs to work on resolving them. Else she will just have someone else move in she does not approve of in retrospect and be miserable again. Her problem all over. Will not be solved until she steps up her game.

        I’m wrestling the trusting too fast myself atm. I have next to no friendships locally and in loneliness it’s easy to latch on to everyone who gives you a passing glance. But I’m done with that. I started a tentative friendship, I saw red flags, I stopped it. No more guilt tripping from YET ANOTHER person. I’m better off lonelier if that is the alternative πŸ˜€

        That being said with flatmates it’s always difficult, often you only meet them for an hour or two before they move in and then … well you live together. One of mine turned out to be rather selfish, crossing boundaries and making unreasonable requests left and right in a rather self righteous way and another I witnessed beating up his now exgf. Lovely people! I cook in my own room now, use my strange sleeping rhythm to my advantage only come downstairs to the rest of the flat when everyone else is asleep. Problem solved πŸ™‚

        Recent events make me think it doesn’t matter what our weaknesses are and how often we screw up. Every time we realise we are just now screwing up again is a chance to improve. That’s what you did and hooray for that! πŸ˜€

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