Smoking…

I’m not sure if I mentioned that the first week into my therapy, I started smoking again. I’ve been smoking American Spirits (which are the “healthier” kind). They are also a bit more expensive then the Marlboro’s I used to smoke. I’ve been praying that God will show me when it’s time to quit, and give me the strength to do so. So tonight I went to buy some cigarettes. I figured in the long run, it would be cheaper to just buy a carton. It’s not. At least not where I bought them at. Anyway, where I bought them at, they are $64 for a carton. That’s a lot of money, when you don’t have much to begin with. I had exactly $64 in cash. I went ahead and bought them. Then as I was driving home, I started calculating how much it was costing me to smoke. Due to my stress and addiction, I’ve been smoking anywhere between 7-10 a day. That is half a pack if I round up to 10 cigarettes. After I got home, these are the numbers I came up with. I just rounded it to 10 a day to make it easier. The numbers are below…

Carton    = $64.00
Pack       = $6.40
Pack       = 20 Cigarettes
Cigarette = $0.32 each
Day x10  = $3.20/day
Week      = $22.40
Month     = $89.60
Year        = $1,075.20

Now some places I’ve bought cigarettes at, they cost $7.25 or so. That’s the one price I remember that was over $7. That puts the yearly price at $1,218. That’s almost a pay check right there.

So now my prayer has changed. My prayer now is for God to help me quit by the end of this carton of cigarettes. There have been times that I will be smoking a cigarette and when I get half done, I’m ready to be done for that time. There are also times where I smoke most of it but not quite all of it. I feel like God is helping me to wean off of them. I have also noticed that they aren’t helping as much as I felt they were in the beginning. My anxiety is still there, and I don’t even get the head rush I used to get. Sometimes, I feel like they burn my throat, at which point I put it out. This is usually about half way down the cigarette. I really want to cut back to 5 a day. I know this is going to be very hard to do. I need to get some suckers to help me, so that is something I can do tomorrow.

Smoking is a constant battle for me. The other part of my prayer is that I can be done smoking, permanently after I quit this time.

Love & Peace
Devin

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3 thoughts on “Smoking…”

  1. my self-injury comes and goes with my stress. I can go years without taking a single blade to my skin. but then all of a sudden, my meds stop or something happens, and I’m cutting or beating or hair-pulling multiple times a week.

    I hope you can get this under control. have you looked up tips to stop smoking? also, many anti-depressants double as smoke-stopping medications. off the top of my head, Zyban and Chantix are supposed to be good for both, I think.

    1. Thank you. I’ve looked up tips in the past, but maybe need to refresh my mind on them. I’ve never tried either of those, though I do know that welbutrin also helps with quitting smoking, but that one gives me migraines. Thank you for the feedback. I have similar issues when it comes to self-injury also. That is why I started smoking in the first place. It took away the need to self harm.

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