Today, I start the Intensive Outpatient Program after being hospitalized. It is from 9 am to 315 pm. It is 5 days a week, for 3-4 weeks. It is actually a blessing that census is down at work. I wouldn’t be working much anyway, so I can focus on ME. I am having faith in God to provide the rest.
I am a little anxious this morning, about my program. It’s something new and will surely be a BIG change for my thoughts, actions, and future. This is a good thing, even though it’s a scary thing. I want to learn how to overcome the thoughts that people hate me or are mad at me, when I know it’s an irrational fear. A lot of times I have to ask for reassurance, and then feel like I’m being a drama queen. That’s not what I’m trying to do, it’s just that the fear is SO strong, without reassurance, the thoughts won’t leave. Even sometimes after reassurance, they don’t leave, but usually they do.
Anyway I feel that I am ready for a new chapter in my life. As scared as I am, right now, it’s exciting and I can’t wait!
Love & Peace