Angry At God…

I am feeling pretty angry at God lately. I am angry that He allowed me to have a mother who hated me. I am angry that He allowed me to have BPD, Depression, Anxiety, and other mental issues. I am angry that He allowed me to get a job that I am not getting hours at. Which means I need to find something else. I am angry that I had to live with an aunt and uncle who don’t like animals, so I had to have someone else care for my dog. I am angry that I am so stressed and depressed, I can’t look for another job. I am angry that I don’t have a clue as to what I want to do with my life. I want to be an author but am not motivated to figure out how to publish my books. I am angry that because of how I was raised and other people that have been in my life, I have such low self-esteem that I can’t believe that I am any good or worth anything good. I am angry that God won’t heal me. I know it takes time, but I’m sick of time. I’m sick of trying my best, which is never good enough for anyone else. And it’s not good enough for me either. I should be out there tackling the world, and I don’t know how. I’m just angry that God doesn’t show Him self in an obvious way so that I know He is there. I know there are little things and I see them once in awhile, but right now I need to see Him, because I don’t feel like there is any other hope. I’M ANGRY, ANGRY, ANGRY!!!

Devin

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5 thoughts on “Angry At God…”

  1. You can totally publish books that you have written. If you are a little bit tech savvy you can upload them to Amazon on Kindle quite easily. If you aren’t tech savvy, maybe you could get a friend to help you. You have all the talent you need. It can be tough, but I am sure you can make it happen! Wishing you well.

  2. Our short time on this earth is but a blink compared to eternity. In eternity there will be no pain or suffering, I bet you won’t even remember what suffering is when you get there. Any suffering you endure here is temporary, it can’t hurt you much longer. It feels like forever, but forever is waiting for you and your pain won’t be able to follow you there. Hang on my friend, just endure it a little longer, because one day it won’t be able to find you anymore. And that is a promise.

    I don’t know God has in store for you and why he has allowed these things to happen to you. But please know God is all powerful and always in complete control, so he could take this all away this instant if it was his will. But why then hasn’t he? Well God is good, and he loves you more than anything to ever exist. God can make anyone he wants, but all those jewels and riches mean nothing to him….he wants you! Everything he does is for you, and believe it or not, this is for your good. Because everything God does for you is for your good. God is not punishing you, and he’s just letting you suffer needlessly for kicks. No, that is not it at all. He has amazing plans for you. And we have to go through trials sometimes to strengthen our faith, give us wisdom and discipline, to teach us, to keep us humble, and so we can help others along the way who are going through the same thing. There is many reasons for our trials, and the end result is good things.

    God has been with you the entire time. He’s right there at your side this very moment. He’s never left you, and he never will. God knows you can get through this, that is why it is happening to you. Because God can do anything, and he’s on your side, so you can get through anything because the all powerful creator of the universe is right there with you, and he loves you more than anything!

    God is with you right now! That is a promise!

  3. Hi Devin,

    You have every right to feel angry…. and I understand completely!

    Feel it …

    ..and find a healthy way to release it, take up boxing, or find a loving therapist or friend who has been in your position (childhood neglect or trauma) that you can vent and cry to and they won’t judge you.

    I went through times I absolutely hated my mother as far as I was concerned she was the bitch that had robbed me of a good healthy life and and had been evil and deceitful. (I have healed from that anger now and forgave my mother for being weak but that takes time and understanding)… and it may be difficult to even comprehend now..

    It’s GOOD you’re angry, it’s part of the healing process..

    Let it out, cry, punch your pillow, curse and cuss if you need too – I did :o)

    It’s not fair what you’ve been through and healing does take … forever

    You have a purpose being here that you do not realise right now – the anger will subside in time and you will see the bigger picture and the purpose for your life.

    You will learn a great deal from your experiences, and you will become wiser and stronger than you can imagine right now.

    It takes time and baby steps, so go with the flow and don’t punish yourself.

    PS, the Bipolar just means you are very sensitive and you will learn to understand it and live with it and one day you will see it as a gift not a disorder.

    SG x

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