Wow, it’s been an emotional roller coaster the last couple of days. It took me awhile to get to sleep last night, so I slept in late this morning. Then I woke up, still very emotional and depressed. I didn’t feel like doing anything. Then my aunt, came in and talked to me about some stuff that she was planning for the day. Then she went back to the other room for awhile. Then probably not quite a half hour later she came back, and asked if I wanted to go with her. My brain went through a really quick process of, “no, I just really want to sit here and do nothing.” To saying, “yeah, let me take a quick shower and I’ll go with you.” My mind was thinking, maybe that will help me get out of this funk. So I went with her, and feel a bit better now. I still don’t feel like doing to much and am going to relax the rest of the day. Then tomorrow I can tackle the hours I need to do this week.
I also canceled my appointment with my counselor and am just doing a phone call with my pastor this week. Just not feeling up to doing much, though I am going to go to my friend D’s house, later this week. We haven’t spent a lot of time together in a LOOOONG time, so this will be really nice.
Today I bought some gum and Mentos to help with the cravings. I am hoping this will help me. Last night after church I really wanted a cigarette, so smoked one when I got home. I smoked my last one about 5 minutes ago. They are gone, which takes away that temptation. Now any cravings will have to be fixed with gum, Mentos or sunflower seeds.
Climbing UP the Mountain!