I talked to my best friend M, on the phone tonight. I was talking to her about how I was feeling about all the different things that are going on. She suggested writing them down into a list, to see if then I could feel a little better about them. She thought that maybe this could help me to organize the stressors and then the thoughts that come with them. So I decided I would try it.
1) Working with people, that I feel like I need to be upbeat around, then feeling
completely exhausted when I get home.
2) My living situation and feeling like my thoughts and feelings don’t matter.
3) My addictions.
4) Going to see Wyatt. Feeling like I want to see him but then when I do have a
weekend available, feeling to overwhelmed by then not having time to myself.
5) The hours I do cleaning etc, for my room and board.
6) Feeling the stress of having to live a ‘normal’ life, like everyone else but not
having the energy or motivation. Then wondering if that is even possible, but not
knowing how to figure out otherwise.
8) Not feeling adequate enough in my spiritual life.
So these are the main ones. If I remember more later, I may add them.