So I wanted to type this post but then thought, “no, I really need to go to bed.” I went and took a shower, but kept thinking about it, so am posting so that I can go to sleep.
I have addictive behavior. When I am actively cutting, it becomes an addiction. Then I gave up cutting and took up smoking, because it’s more acceptable. Then I quit smoking and went into overeating and gained weight again. Now for Lent, I gave up fast food, and have been smoking again. I have kept it to one a day, so that I can hide it from my aunt and uncle, but I feel the addiction looming overhead. I’m tired of being tied to these addictions. It’s tiring and stressful.
Tonight my prayer is, for God to take away this addictive behavior. Not just the cutting or smoking or overeating, or anything else I may pick up; but the behavior. To cut those chains from me so that I can be free from the addictions. ALL of the addictions. I want to be healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally and I feel like this is a start in that direction. God has to do it though, because I can’t. He’s got to break it from me.
That is all!