Addictive Behavior

So I wanted to type this post but then thought, “no, I really need to go to bed.” I went and took a shower, but kept thinking about it, so am posting so that I can go to sleep.

I have addictive behavior. When I am actively cutting, it becomes an addiction. Then I gave up cutting and took up smoking, because it’s more acceptable. Then I quit smoking and went into overeating and gained weight again. Now for Lent, I gave up fast food, and have been smoking again. I have kept it to one a day, so that I  can hide it from my aunt and uncle, but I feel the addiction looming overhead. I’m tired of being tied to these addictions. It’s tiring and stressful.

Tonight my prayer is, for God to take away this addictive behavior. Not just the cutting or smoking or overeating, or anything else I may pick up; but the behavior. To cut those chains from me so that I can be free from the addictions. ALL of the addictions. I want to be healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally and I feel like this is a start in that direction. God has to do it though, because I can’t. He’s got to break it from me.

That is all!


4 thoughts on “Addictive Behavior”

  1. I have felt a similar cloud of addiction looming over my head for ages it seems. I hope you derive the strength to break free and start afresh. All the best!

  2. my three main addictions that I cycle through are alcohol, cutting, and starvation. though in my recent attempts to not do any of those three, I have started having the occasional cigarette, and I notice similar cravings to them that I never had before.

    anyway, there are a lot of new studies about how addiction is a disease in itself. one of the newest theories is that is has to do with an imbalance of, poorly managed, or improperly transported dopamine.

    Doctor Howard Wetsman what a few books and many videos on the topic. it’s still very new, so there’s limited material on the matter.

    if you’re one to do research, let me know and I can send you my sources.

    1. Thanks! Research isn’t always my strong point. It seems like I can never find what I’m looking for, when doing serious research. Sometimes I think of doing research on certain things but my follow through sucks pretty bad. Thanks for the offer though. I will keep that Dr’s name in mind though and maybe at some point I will be in the right place to actually do some research. Thanks again! ~Devin

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