I am getting really tired of these dark clouds and heavy weights that surround me, constantly. Last night I was reading in my Kindle before bed. The book, Alone by Lisa Gardner is a crime story. It’s a really good book and once I start reading it’s hard to put it down. So I have gotten to the part where the Cop Sniper is talking to his counselor about his childhood and abuse that had taken place. His story is different then mine, in a sense, but it was still a trigger for me. It didn’t trigger cutting or suicide but just made me feel really sad. Then last night, I woke up from a dream that had to do with my mom and abuse. I don’t remember anything else. I got up and went to the bathroom and was able to go back to sleep; but this morning I woke up really depressed. Lately I’ve been waking up depressed anyway, so I may have no matter what. I’m just tired of it. Of feeling like I can’t get rid of it. This morning I prayed and asked God to take it from me. It hasn’t left yet and I don’t know what I need to do, to do my part. I’m sure God has a lesson in this for me, but I am getting very inpatient. I just want to be released from this burden.