I have NEVER been a morning person. Even when I was little, before school, my dad would go to work early, and I would crawl in my parents bed and sleep until 10am. I find this ironic, because when I became a teenager and wanted to sleep in, my mom didn’t understand and would call me lazy. She didn’t think about the fact, that it’s just my natural body makeup. It’s always hard for me to get up in the mornings, but it’s been even worse lately. I can lay in bed for a couple of hours before getting up. I believe this is due to my depression. And now that I’m up, all I can think about is that I want to go back to bed and sleep some more.
I may have mentioned in previous posts that I do 10 hours of cleaning, for my Aunt and Uncle. I need to better figure out how to balance this time. It’s like I do a couple hours in the beginning of the week and then all of a sudden it’s the end of the week and I owe 7 1/2 more hours. So I need to do 4 hours today so that I have less to do tomorrow. When I wasn’t working, I would do a couple of hours each day and spread it out. Now that I’m working, it’s harder. I’m more tired after working and don’t want to do anything when I come home. Then on days when I’m not working, I’m so depressed that I get a later start then I planned, and then just keep putting it off. It’s so hard, trying to do something with this depression over my shoulder all the time. This is where I really wish I had my own place, then I could do as much or as little cleaning as I wanted. A lot of time my apartment was cluttered. I would usually do some stuff on my days off. Like I would take one day to do cleaning and the other day, to do nothing. And some weeks, nothing got done, if the depression was there. I did make sure that my apartment was never dirty though. I feel there is a difference between dirty and cluttered. I don’t like dirty. I can handle clutter.
Anyways that’s where I am today. Feeling like I hate mornings and I don’t want to do a thing, besides go back to bed. Maybe I’ll take a quick, short nap in my recliner. Then I can get up and shower and get some work done. Then I work this evening 4-8. So I do have a time frame that I have to get things done in.