So I’ve been watching the last couple seasons of Friends on Netflix. I had the first 9 seasons on DVD and now it’s on Netflix so I can finish it there. I’ll still buy the last seasons, but for now this will work.
Anyway today I was watching the end of Season 9. One of the episodes was where Rachel was helping Joey practice his lines for Days of Our Lives. She told him to remember when he was in love, and let that help his reaction for how he was supposed to be in the show. He started describing to her about how when he loved her. One thing he said was that it was hard to see her, because he just wanted to kiss her. How it was hard being around her because of his feelings. I don’t remember word for word what he said, but it brought up a bunch of emotions about Dani. I can SO relate to what he was saying because that is how I felt about her. It was even harder to see her with her boyfriend. I think if we still hung out, I would still be feeling that way. Or if we were to start hanging out again. A lot of those feelings aren’t as strong because I don’t see her all the time, so I’m not constantly thinking about her. The feelings are obviously still there once she is in my head.
Then I start thinking about if I will EVER fall in love with someone who also loves me back. Right now it doesn’t seem possible. I don’t know if I could ever love someone like I loved her. We had such a great connection. I don’t know if that will ever happen again. I just feel so lonely sometimes. And I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life. I want to be with someone who loves me the same way I love them. I try to be patient that God has someone, somewhere for me. But sometimes it is really hard to see that.
Here’s to hoping!
Love & Peace