I Got A Job!!!

Hello Everyone,

So I now have a new job that I officially start on Thursday. It’s not just any job though and it’s kind of an interesting story of how it happened, so I am going to back up a little bit.

On September 14, 2014, for my morning devotion, I was studying about obedience to God. Afterwards, I prayed and asked God if there was anything I wasn’t obeying Him about. I asked Him to show me, if there was. Immediately upon praying that prayer, the word caregiver came into my head. A lot of people have told me to look into care-giving and that I would be good at it. I had been avoiding it, because I’m afraid of getting close to people and then having them die. I didn’t feel like that was for me. That morning though, after seeing the word caregiver in my head, I decided I would go and look at what jobs I could find to apply too. I said, “OK, God, if that’s what you want.” Then I went on Craigslist and looked under the medical section. I found two different positions at an assisted living facility, which is right up the street. One was for a caregiver position and the other for a med aid position. I figured I would try the med aid position. I figured that’s kind of close to care-giving, and I could always change, once I got into the company. So I applied. Then on the 16th of September, they called and set up an interview for the next day, which was Wednesday. So Wednesday, I went to the interview. While I was sitting in the waiting room, a woman brought out a questionnaire for me to fill out. On the top it said, Caregiver position. I was thinking, “wait I applied for a med aid position.” I filled it out anyway. I felt it was obvious that God wanted me to be a caregiver. So then I went back to meet with the manager who was interviewing me. She was definitely interviewing for a caregiver position. I decided to just go with it. So one of the questions I answered on the questionnaire and that they asked me, was, “why do you want to be a caregiver?” In my head, I thought, “well I don’t.” But what I said was, “I feel people who live in an assisted living facility, should have someone who is compassionate and has empathy, who is gentle, to take care of them. I believe I have those characteristics.” Both of those sentences are true, I just didn’t want to be one of the people caring for them. But for some reason, I keep being led there. So yesterday, I got a call and I went in today to fill out paperwork and learn policies. It has also worked out for me to have a day shift, which I was also praying A LOT about. After going in to sign paperwork today, it really looks like it is a GOOD place to work for. There are multiple people who have worked there for a lot of years. It sounds like they actually appreciate their employees and have incentives for those working for them. I am hoping that it will work out that I can work there for a long time too. If that is where God wants me, of course.

So now I am thanking God for this job. I am thanking Him for putting His hand in my life and leading me. Maybe it’s something, I don’t think I will like, but it’s where God obviously wants me, so its time to be OK with it. It’s time to go with the flow and follow God’s lead. It’s time to have a positive attitude about this, so that I can take the best care, that I possibly can, for those in need of it. God will show me how to face this head on. He will show me how to face my fears of death, and bodily fluids. I am putting my faith in Him. I am believing that He has this under control.

So now it’s time to start winding down for bed. I am getting up REALLY early tomorrow even though I don’t work until Thursday. My counselor wants me to stay on my routine even on my days off, which means 4am it is. And it will be here way too soon!

Night All!

Love & Peace



Good Morning All, 

I hope everyone is having a blessed week so far! I know I am! 🙂 

So on Friday, I met with my counselor again. This is my second time meeting with her. I talked to her about not being able to sleep. She suggested that I write down a bedtime routine and then a morning routine. I am then supposed to follow them every day, even on the weekends. So I started that Friday night/Saturday morning. So far its been going OK. I need to stick a little closer to my night routine, but so far I’ve only been a few minutes late upon actually getting to bed, so that’s good. The morning routine has been going OK. I have been getting up at 6:30 am. Well that’s what the alarm is set for, I usually snooze it and its been 10-20 minutes before I actually force myself to get up. I’m not one of those people that can just jump out of bed though them minute the alarm goes off. I have to stretch and wake up first. 

One major thing that I have included in my routine is time with God. Back in March I started a gratitude journal. I usually fill this out before bed and then read in my Bible some. Sometimes when I get in my really depressed moods, I don’t do this, but have been mostly good about it, every night. Then on Thursday I started doing a morning devotional. So when I wrote my routine I included that every day. Its been really amazing at the difference I have felt since starting the morning devotional. I have also started praying in the morning that through the day, God will give me His glasses. This way I can see the world and people through His eyes, without my judgement getting in the way. So far its been working pretty well. There have still been a couple of times where I’ve made a quick judgement, but overall, I think I’m doing better, but only with God’s help. 

So when I was with my ex, we used to play with my cousin, Wizard 101. Then after I left my ex, and cut her out of my life, I stopped playing. My cousin A, came over the other day and we were talking about the game and so I downloaded it and set up a new account. When I played with my ex, she had connected our accounts and plus this gives me a fresh start. I can only go so far before I will have to pay money, but I can play at least until that point. I can also set up for 6 different characters and get them to that place. Hopefully by that point I’ll have a job, and then can maybe afford to buy a subscription. 

I can’t remember if I posted this before, or not, but I am also volunteering at a dog shelter now. I go in on Mondays and walk a dog. Since my dog is so far away, it gives me some much needed animal time. Plus it gets me out and walking. Now if I could just get past my insecurities of walking by myself without a pet, maybe I could actually do it regularly. That will be something to talk to my counselor about, in the coming weeks. 

Well I can’t think of anything else at this point. 

Have a blessed week! 

Love & Peace 

Another Sleepless Night…

I am getting so frustrated with these sleepless nights. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I didn’t get to bed until between 12-2am (depending on the night) and then I was awake at 5am. I would usually wake up hungry so went and got a bowl of cereal.Then I would go back to bed and try to sleep in some. Then on Monday night, I went to bed a little after 10 and was pretty much right to sleep. I woke up at 4am and went to the bathroom but went right back to sleep. I ended up sleeping in until 1030am, so got almost 12 hours of sleep. Now tonight, I went to bed about 11pm, but woke up every hour. then at 2am I got up and got on the computer a little bit. Then tried to go back to sleep but then was wide awake again. Then I was hungry so got a bowl of cereal, and that brings me to now. 

I tried praying and asking God to show me if he wanted anything, and ended up feeling like I should pray for a couple of people, so I did, but then still couldn’t sleep. This is so frustrating! It’s no wonder I’ve been so depressed lately, with my sleep all haywire. 

I really need to figure out an exercise regimen  but it’s so hard for me to exercise on my own. For some reason I feel very self-conscious walking by myself. I become  very aware of my body and how I’m walking, etc. I’m not sure why or what causes this. This goes for going to a gym too, not that I have money to that right now anyway. I’m not sure how to get into exercising when I’m so self-conscious doing it. And then on top of that, add on lack of motivation, and I just don’t do it. I guess that is something I need to talk to my counselor about on Friday. 

Well I mainly needed to get this out of my head. I guess its time to try the sleep thing again. 

Peace & Love


It’s MY life!!!

So I just wrote this tonight. I went to church tonight and one lady E, who told me last week I needed to apply at temp agencies, asked me tonight if I had applied at any. When I told her yes (though I hadn’t), she asked me how many. I said I don’t know, a few. She then said, “no, I need a number. How many?” She wouldn’t let up until I said 3 or 4, then she said that wasn’t enough. She did this at the dinner table in front of everyone, too by the way. Someone else piped up and said, that places don’t like you coming in anymore that its all done online. A few other people chimed in and backed that up, but E wouldn’t have it and continued about how temp agencies want you to go in person. Which may be, I don’t know. Its hard enough for me to apply for jobs online let alone go into these places and apply. God is going to have to work with me on that because lately I’ve been so depressed and unmotivated, its a chore to get out of bed in the morning. Anyways so I wanted to write this and post it on a note in Facebook but not sure if that’s a good idea. I figure I’ll post it here, where not many people I know will see it. I’m still thinking about the Facebook decision. I mainly wanted to address the job thing but didn’t want to single anyone out, so added the other things too, so it wasn’t as obvious. Those are also things that I’ve been told over the summer, so figured I’d get those out too.

I have had a lot of people tell me lately what I should be doing with my life. I am told how and where I should be applying for jobs and how many. I have been told that I need to loose weight, exercise, go to bed earlier and a ton of other things that are too much to put on here. I really don’t owe an explanation to anyone but wanted you to see how I am looking at things and why I’m doing things the way I am.
I get very frustrated when I am constantly told how to live my life. Most of the things I am told, I already know. Of course I know that I need to apply to a lot of jobs, that is something I am working on. There are certain types of jobs like hard labor, or fast food that I am not willing to try. I’ve done both of those in some point of my life and I know how they work. And these are just a couple of examples. I don’t mind suggestions, I totally can overlook that. Its when people try to push me into things without listening to how I feel or what I’m saying about the situation that bothers me. I am putting out as many applications and resumes that I can. I am doing my best to look for a job that God would want me to do. I am trying to listen to where he wants me. I don’t just want ANY job, I want a job where God is involved. I’ve done just ANY job my whole adult life and I’m done doing it. My next job doesn’t have to be the best paying job, it just has to have God surrounded in it. I am also trusting that until God leads me to the right job, he is taking care of me. He will supply the money I need, when I need it. He will supply my essentials when I need them too. I am putting my faith in what I have been told most of my life, that God has it under control. I will admit some days are easier to do this, then others, but I’m working on it.
Yes I know I need to loose weight. I don’t need people telling me that I need to because I already know this. I am working on this also. It’s been hard as of late because some days I don’t feel like watching what I’m eating because of where my emotions have been, but I’m trying. And really that is all I can do. Some days will always be better then others.
Yes I know I need to exercise more. This one I should probably work on a lot more then I am, but some days its hard to be motivated enough to get out of bed, let alone to go exercising. I know that exercise can supposedly help with mood stability, but I feel very weird exercising by myself, so I usually don’t. When I had Wyatt, I had an excuse to have to go walk and that motivated me a lot more then doing it on my own.
I’m not a morning person, so if I’m not on a schedule, its really hard for me to go to bed early and get up early. After saying that, I will say this, when it comes to a job I would prefer a day job. A day job would allow me to be off in the evenings and feel like I have some day time left to do things that need getting done. When someone knows I’m not a morning person, it is really annoying that they act like its a surprise that I slept until 9 or 10. Nothing needs to be said about it.

So I’m saying these things because I’m tired of people thinking I need to do exactly what does or would work for them. I am almost 31 years old and know how to make my own decisions based on my needs, wants and desires. If you make a suggestion, I can appreciate that and think about it and how it would work in my life. If I choose not to take you up on your advice, don’t be hurt by it and don’t continue to try and push it down my throat. Its OK, that I’m different then you, and have my own likes and dislikes. Its what makes us interesting as friends, family or loved ones. If we were all alike, we would be boring. And what fun is that? Life is a process and as long as I am trying my best at it and working my hardest to achieve what God wants, its not up to you.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Feel free to give me your advice on whether I should post it on Facebook or not!

Love & Peace