Pulling Myself Up By The Bootstraps…

Hello Everyone, 
So a lot has happened in the last week. A couple of weeks ago, I got a letter confirming that I had been accepted on the Oregon Health Plan. So one weeks ago, I went to my first doctor’s appointment in a few years. I had been dealing with a lot of depression and just couldn’t seem to pull myself out of it this time. So I talked to my doctor about it and she put me on Zoloft. Then last week, I got my labs done and Monday I go in to hear about those, and get my physical. It feels really good to be taking care of myself. 

So 3 times in the past I have been hospitalized for depression and self harm. At that time, I was put on medications. I was put on a cocktail of things. I was on and off a number of different meds from 2003 until I went off them in 2011 or 2012. Because of all the side effects that come with taking medications, I really wanted to fight this on my own. I also felt like the medications took my creativity away. Anyway, I was very stubborn about staying off medications this time. But I finally gave in. This time I feel like its a little more in my control, which helps me feel a little better about it. I feel like I have a choice in the outcome of this. 

So far I’ve been feeling better about things. I don’t know if the medication is starting to take affect already or because some other things have happened this last week. Or both. 

I have a storage unit reserved. So now its just setting up to move everything. I will feel so much better once everything is moved. It will cost more but I won’t have to worry about bothering people. At least in that matter. 

I had a good time hanging out with Dani. We went to Russell St BBQ, which is an AWESOME BBQ place. Then we walked around Lloyd Center. We hung out in Barnes & Nobles for awhile. I bought a red leather journal with a heart on it. I am using this to write about my feelings for Dani. We had a good time together and it ended way to soon. 

My dad came this week from WI. He came out here to buy a pick up truck. So I picked him up on Monday at the airport and spent time with him Monday and Tuesday. He found a truck and drove it back, leaving here Wed morning. In WI, they salt the roads, which causes vehicles to rust faster. So he came to OR to buy a truck that will hopefully last longer. I had a good time seeing him for a couple of days. 

I am seeing things differently about my living situation, so hopefully this will make it a little easier on me. 

My aunt and uncle that I live with, are also teaching me round dancing. I am still self-conscious about it but hopefully that will get better. 

I think that I all for now. 

Love & Peace
Devin

 

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