How It Feels to Be ME

So I have a lot of people telling me lately how I look to them. That I am Positive, compassionate, patient, and more. I don’t feel these things so thought I would blog about it.

How it Feels To Be Me

You say I’m beautiful and strong
Positive, compassionate
Kind and caring

You tell me what an inspiration I am
That some day I will make it
And see things differently

What you don’t realize
Is I don’t see it that way
But complete opposite

I see the familiar mask
That is upon my face
Day after day

I see the things I hide
Deep within my mind
You would run far away

There is no way
Those nice things you say
Can possibly be me

For I am too broken
And torn apart inside
To ever be fixed

OK, so its been a LONG time since I’ve written a poem and this is rough draft, written just now but I tried. I don’t understand why I feel this way. The people I am talking about know pretty much all of my secrets. I have told them the things of my dark past. They tell me these nice things about me. I can’t get out of my head, that …if only they knew. I just feel like I have this mask that shows me as a good person but deep down I’m not. I don’t know why I can’t just believe them. I mean I know I’ve been told bad stuff about me for most of my life and its just a couple years in, of hearing good things. But I’m tired of feeling like I have everyone fooled. That if they only knew me, they wouldn’t want to be around me. I don’t know how to fully accept their love and positive affirmations. I don’t know how anyone could love someone like me.

That is all
Devin

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One thought on “How It Feels to Be ME”

  1. I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. If you would like to accept it, please go to my blog site for details. You are an inspiration and thank you for your advice and support. TBH

    Stand Strong You Are Not Alone

    I call you a survivor, because that is what you are. There are days when you don’t feel like a survivor and there are days when the memories trigger your past and it feels like you are loosing the fight – but you are not. Take the past and heal with it. You are strong. I want you to know that the abuse was not your fault. It does not matter what age it happened. You did not deserve it, you did not cause it, and you did not bring it on yourself. You own no shame, guilt, or remorse. In your life, you have faced many demons but look around you and you will see there is hope, and there is beauty. You are beautiful, You are loved, there is hope. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You deserve peace and joy in your life. Don’t settle for anything less than that. God has plans for you. Your future does not have to be dictated by your past.

    Each step you take you are not alone.

    Stand Strong.

    TBH

    Please go to this link to read how to accept your award.
    http://turkeyboneheaven.com/2014/03/23/brave-heart-award/
    Please go to this link to read how to accept your award.

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