Every year about this time, my extended family, rents a beach house somewhere on the Oregon Coast. I always look forward to these times because I get to spend time with family, plus go to the beach and take a lot of pictures. These are both relaxing to me. So tonight, I got a call from my Uncle W., asking if I’d like to come to the beach this weekend and they would pay my part. My G’Ma and G’Pa, had cancelled so they thought I might like to take their place. I made the comment that I hadn’t heard about The Beach Weekend, until now. He said that Aunt K., probably wanted to save me from feeling bad that I couldn’t go, since my circumstances aren’t the greatest. Deep down, I know he’s right, but that doesn’t mean it hurts less that I wasn’t invited. I’m kind of hoping he says something to her about the fact that I wasn’t invited. I am also, almost positive this is probably the same reason I didn’t hear about a beach weekend last year. I thought maybe they just didn’t have it, but it was probably the same reason. Last year I was working but work was part time and I would have had to find boarding for Wyatt.
I’m just so tired of my circumstances being in the mud. I’m tired of having to turn things down because I can’t afford to go. I want to be included in things too. I want to go to the beach with someone just to hang out, but I don’t have anyone. It just sucks because if I had known ahead of time, I probably could have made arrangements, so that I could have gone. I just want someone to think of me and ask me to go along but no one does.
Just feeling lonely tonight…Devin