I’ve been feeling a little lonely the last couple of days. I have a lot of friends and family who I am close too. What’s the problem, you say? The problem is they all have somebody else. They have a spouse, children or other friends. They go to the beach, a movie or out to eat. There is never an invite for me to come along. Which is fine, because I don’t want to be the third wheel. That’s not fun either. I have all these really positive people in my life, but in the long run, I still don’t fit. There’s not a place for me.
I need a single friend, male or female. Someone where there are no strings attached or sexual expectations. Just someone who I can be best friends with. This person will have similar interests where we can do a lot of things together, but also independent like me. I don’t want anymore co-dependent relationships. They have to be HEALTHY best friends type of relationship. And the other person should also be a person of faith, but open minded. We should be able to talk openly about our beliefs. We should be able to go back and forth, testing what the other believes. This will strengthen our faith in God.
I would like someone to say how important I am to them, without me asking. Without me being in a depressed mood. I just wish that I knew if I would be missed if I wasn’t here. My pastor has told me that I am a blessing to her. That really means a lot when she tells me that.
I don’t have the money now anyway, but it would be nice to have a friend invite me out, to do something free. We could walk in the park or something. I shouldn’t always have to take the initiative when it comes to doing something. That’s exhausting!
I’ve given my blog site to a few friends, and unless the stats are wrong, no one reads it. They all say they like how I write and that I’m good at it. They all say they are going to get around to it, but they don’t. That’s not the point of my blog, and I know that. The point of my blog is to help others, but I don’t know that it really does. I guess I just want to feel a little important right now. Like maybe I matter in the world.
Yeah, talk about a pity party, huh? Sorry, this has been bothering me for awhile, and I needed to get it out.
Thanks for listening, Devin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DlWyTpD3hM Wilco-How To Fight Lonliness