So just thought I would send out an update. Last week, I had lost my job. At first I didn’t want to tell anyone in my family. I was embarrassed and felt shame because of the job loss. I didn’t even post it on Facebook. My church family knew though, because I knew they would be supportive. So this last Tuesday, I went into the bank to get some cash out. I happened to mention to the teller that I had lost my job. She asked me where I had worked and why I got fired. I told her, and then told her I could still work for the company, just not the department but that I was embarrassed to work in the same facility because I knew everyone there. She told me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed because I wasn’t fired on performance but because I was sick. She said I should hold my head high and then demonstrated by holding her head high. I barely made it to my car before I burst into tears. I thought about the conversation though throughout the day and then decided to go ahead and post it on Facebook. I hid my post from my parents and a couple other people though as I wasn’t quite ready for them to know. I have talked to an Aunt C and Uncle G, who I am really close too. They have offered to let me come and live with them for awhile. I have to find a place for my dog though. So that is my prayer now. It has to be a special place because he is crazy and not fond of anyone besides me. He’s a chihuahua mix, so has that mentality. Anyways, so I have a place to go. I have filed my unemployment, and am waiting for the results. Then I will apply for food stamps. Things are slowly coming together. I am reading my Bible and praying more. I am reading the story of Job right now. There was a point in Job’s life where he wished God would just end his life. I feel that way sometimes when I’m going through things, so I can relate to Job a lot. I will say that during this period of time, I’ve done a lot better. I haven’t felt the need to hurt myself which is major progress. There might be a fleeting thought but that’s all. Also on Friday, I went and helped my Aunt C with some cleaning to get ready for a family dinner, which was yesterday. My Aunt C has a very high faith. She has had some difficulties in life and has overcome them. We talk about God and faith a lot and I really enjoy our conversations. So Friday evening we talked about faith in regards to my situation now. On my way home, I was listening to my christian music on the radio. I was thinking about the day and time with my Aunt and Uncle. I all of a sudden got a really warm feeling and I knew I was loved. Not just in a human sense but in a Godly sense too. Then I woke up yesterday with a couple really positive songs in my head that I sang all day. It was a really good change from how things have been in the past. I have really been praying that God will transform me. I think this is proof that He is answering my prayer.
Well now it is time for me to get ready to head to my friend’s and then to church.
Love & Peace